"An equation means nothing to me unless it expresses a thought of God" -Srinivasa Ramanujan
This to me explains how I live and do what I do. As I create, I create with a guided hand from God and I truly believe that. I have felt this way before in the past but never quite understood it, and during this year of sobriety I was forced to turn my will over and work on my character defects especially the ones that always held me back.
When I was able to let go and let God work through me I saw miracles happen. And it's ok if you don't believe in God or prefer Higher Power please continue to read, this is just my story and I hold no judgements on anyone else's beliefs.
I'm almost at a loss for words today because I am filled with gratitude for so many people, my journey past and present, my struggles and my connection with my higher power that has catapulted me into this creative bloom. I have so much to give thanks for. How do you say thank you? Sometimes 'Thank you' doesn't seem enough to express to someone that they played a big part in saving your life.
I believe I have always been this person you see before you but like an old tattoo, I was faded (literally) and over the last year my eyes, heart, hands and soul were given a new coat of color. I was revived long enough to see my own beauty and I guess when that happened others noticed.
I believe in my capabilities to do whatever I am guided to do, I have drawn, shared and because of that I was invited to paint a mural at my church. I have explored and taken pictures of everything that inspires me, and because of that I have been asked to take pictures for others and many now hang my work. I have inspired others to create because I talk of taking chances and conquering fear and believing in yourself in my blogs. My raw honesty started as my own selfish goal to not escape my life. I felt if I wrote about it and shared it, I couldn't run from it. I never knew people would follow it. I never thought I would still be courageous enough to continue doing it.
So again I have a purpose and it is 'Many Things', and I will continue to do them and share with others.
Today is just another 24 hours for me, but I have to allow myself a moment to celebrate such a big milestone. It might have taken me 20 years to string a year together but it has taken my whole life to feel like I'm home, 'In me' not my location.
I heard today "We are on fertile ground for a power we didn't even know we were capable of" this was in reference to a new journey we as individuals will find as we fight for our country together. It is also true for my recovery this past year, that landed me in Australia in a relationship, then out of a relationship then trusting in a higher power while being 10,000 miles away from home with limited funds and a whole new group of friends. Proof this was not my doing but my higher power taking care of me when I finally turned it over and did the work.
As I walked to church this morning after my meeting, I stopped and took this picture. To me it says:
You Are Here, right where your supposed to be. And always looking for a sign I find myself gravitating a lot towards the color pink.
It also says to me 'walk against the grain' 'It's time to speak up' and'How can I use my gifts to help inspire others'
So now I'm in New York after the terrible results of this election and I finally want to be involved. I have been shown when my ideas and creativity are a direct connection with my higher power it can affect others. It means nothing to me unless it expresses a thought of God and then I know the result will be powerful.
THANK YOU to everyone who was present in my life, especially during my recovery. I Love You.
Peace and Serenity,