What would you say to your younger self from your death bed?

Nov 23

Nov 23 What would you say to your younger self from your death bed?

This weeks blog is a continuation of my November 10th blog I never posted because of the election results. I had an amazing week ending November 6th, especially that Sunday. I'm constantly reminded that it takes practice, awareness and a willingness to receive gifts that we might take for granted any other day. Or might not receive because we weren't present. That week, I physically pushed myself too much and was feeling the pain. I wanted to cancel my weekend commitments but I didn't, and I'm so glad I didn't.

I was able to enjoy a wonderful day out with a friend and explore all the beauty the Botanical gardens had to offer. We walked a lot, I had spells of nausea, lost then found my phone, laughed at how small the waterfall was and finally stood at the reflection pool. I have to admit I looked at my friend a bit confused about what the reflection pool meant, was it to reflect on life or show my reflection. Some people might say its obvious, but sometimes I just need to sit with things and find that true meaning for myself. The result was it was both.

The next morning I still didn't feel well but I went to church because I need to show up even when I don't want to. I have to say I wasn't completely present during service but when I was, I stopped and sat down, leaned forward because I knew I was supposed hear what the pastor was saying. He asked what will you say on your death bed? he said, not once has anyone said to him 'they wished they made more money', or 'they should have bought more things', it's usually "I wish I loved more" or 'I wish I worked on mending a relationship' or 'I wish I appreciated the beauty around me'.

I have lost or have given away almost everything I own outside of the basic necessities, and the things I held on too I did out of fear of losing a sense of worth. Once I let go I was free, free to find out who I was without the things that I let define me for so long.

"I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer"? -Jim Carrey

My ritual has always been to review that weeks pictures and social media posts, then talk about the experience that shaped me the most that week. I knew it was the 'Reflection pool' and what would I say to myself now from my death bed. See I have said 'I wish I knew then what I know now, because I would have done things differently. Well, what if we tried it another way. Why not do now what we know we would tell ourselves from our death bed. Ofcourse keeping it simple, we can't change all our ways at once. I also think we are shaped by our past, I don't regret anything that has happened in my but I can learn from them and avoid repeating some things in the future.

I sat here a few months ago and I convinced myself that I was always pretty happy and optimistic, I never really got angry with people. Well in this world of social media, the new library of everything we have posted in our past now reminding us in our daily feeds, I was shown something different. My daily resentments towards family and friends for any given day 2010-current pops up on Facebook and reminds me of how grateful I am today that I can acknowledge my past behavior and work towards changing them.

And for all of you that think because your private and don't post anything about yourself it can't be proven, well your wrong, you can't lie to yourself. The fact is I have hurt people and done things I know to be wrong and I have the choice to live with my truths and work on them or isolate and live with my lies.

There is a much greater power you will get when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. A happiness and peace that will change your life. Having your guard up 24/7 is hard work, depressing and ultimately unsatisfying for you or anyone around you.

So now it's November 23rd and I have watched for the 3rd time a video from Tim Minchin and his '9 Life Lessons'. 9 simple lessons that if practiced will change your life. Below is what I got out of what he said but here's the full video. Click here

You don't have to have dreams; have passionate dedication of whats in front of you
Don't seek happiness; aim to make someone else happy and in turn you will be happy.
Have gratitude for your life; have empathy
Exercise: Running, Yoga, Gym, Walking
Be hard on your opinions; your biases, prejudices, privileges. Arts and Sciences should work together.
Be a teacher and even if your not a teacher 'BE A TEACHER' Share your ideas, rejoice in what you have learned and spray it.
Define yourself by what you Love not what you hate. Be Pro stuff; what you speak says a lot.
Respect people with less power than you; I will absolutely judge you by how you treat others.
DON'T RUSH - You don't have to know what you want to do. That doesn't mean sit around and do nothing.

He ends by saying "FILL IT, Life is best filled by learning as much as you can about as much as you can. Taking pride in whatever your doing, having compassion, sharing ideas, running, being enthusiastic, giving."

No matter what I tell you about me you will always be able to eventually see my truth. How I treat people, my prejudices, my anger, my respect, my ego, and so on. Life until we are dead is a learning experience, and I will always listen to ways that will improve my happiness and humanness.

Because one day we will be old and then we will be dead, so lets fill it with things that will make us happy to share with the world on our death bed.