I had a difficult time falling asleep and staying asleep and because of this I checked social media a few times until my eyes would get sleepy again. Finally in my dream state there was an energy that disturbed me, it wasn’t a good energy or an evil energy, it seemed more like a lost lonely energy and it was trying to get me to come out of character in my dream. I saw the face of someone familiar in the confusion of my birthday celebration, I tried to say hello but I got this weird smirk and wink like I was being told they just made things difficult for me in the venue where I was holding my party.
I had a sample dish in my hand that i wanted cooked for my guests, but it smelled like Fish had been cooked in the pan before the meat was grilled, so I decided this venue wasn’t fitting, along with the vibe and energy that person gave me when we passed each other. Anyway, I decided to have anyone who wanted to celebrate my birthday meet me at Central Park for a picnic potluck, come if you wanted but don’t feel bad if you couldn’t make it. This immediately got rid of that energy that hovered over me, poof it was gone.
I then officially woke up at my normal 5:30am time and was ready to start this weeks blog early because I realized I had some of this lingering lost, lonely and disturbed energy hovering over me. So did my higher power just give me this weeks topic? Was yesterday’s post of listening instead of speaking a hint from God?, am I supposed to work on keeping my character in check when this energy is poking at me just because thats the only thing it knows?. and for a moment I sat here thinking what is Gods Will, but truthfully I wasn’t referring to myself. Thats sign #1 I need to worry about my own energy and actions, this lost, lonely and disturbed energy is knocking at my door and inviting me to play and I don’t have to participate.
So what do I do. I continue to do what I’ve done over the last 9 months, I continue to trust I’m being shown the things I don’t want for my future, and reminded of the kind of person I already am and over the next few years to just keep getting better. I Never forget that with life it may change quickly or slowly, mine just happens to be quickly but i need to remember there is a lesson in everything and I need to slow down and pay attention.
So sign #2 is I have to truly change my actions to change the outcome. If my energy isn’t good and right from the start, that energy can be read through time zones, written words, in silence and if you have a connection with your higher power they will travel into your dreams and teach you something or give you a heads up of whats about to happen.
If you know the book the Artist Way you will notice it follows a 12 step recovery program and I can’t stop talking about it, I haven’t completed the entire course but I will in my time. This part will be using some words from the books chapter “Recovering a sense of Identity” which is directly related to toxic energies that may be finding my newly found recovery and peace disturbing.
This part of my life is called Going Sane and having New Boundaries. I can now see the virus approaching from a mile away and I have a new antidote. It’s a combination of faith, removal of self doubt, daily practices and safe companions. I have drawn a sacred circle around my recovery and I truly feel it has protected me and will continue to do so.
Here are a few things I do to block any and all negative energy:
I light incense and thank God for protecting my mind and my space
I meditate because I have dowloaded these quickie meditations on my phone and I can listen anywhere anytime I need it
I shake my hands and do this physical motion to get rid of this energy that is not mine
I say “I release all energy that is not mine, so be it and so it is” and this helps
I do the above in parts or if the energy won’t go away I repeat all of them until it does.
My character and my words play a big part in not feeding this energy, there will always be disturbing people or things, and I no longer want a part in satisfying it’s craving so I work on my character, action and words in the following way.
I pick up the phone and do my venting to someone I trust to guide me and usually the advice is to not react and to see my part in it.
I don’t use bad language and I don’t even think it because for me it feeds that energy and it only ends up disturbing me and making me unhappy.
I don’t think about it, I keep myself doing the things that make me better and happy, like drawing, walking interacting with like-minded folks.
My heart used to beat out of my chest, my mind would race and for the rest of the day i wouldn’t be able to heal. My mind, body and soul was hijacked by negative energy because I didn’t have the tools needed to remove it.
So the final lesson is all of these past energies will be released when my higher power decides it’s time. I keep my head where my hands are and I continue to have my feet to take me where I’m supposed to be. I have the tools now and It’s a simple remedy and it works.
Some people may not like my response and all I can say is I’m no longer running the show. My response and how you take it is a part of your journey and maybe there is a lesson to be learned.
I have surrendered my need to control the result and I have officially released all energy that does not belong to me, so be it and so it is. I am now ready to create.
Love and Serenity,