This week isn’t even over and so much has happened. Today’s blog will be short and sweet, I’m just going to point out some of the highs and lows since my last blog.
As frustrating as it may be sometimes to talk with my attorneys I was finally able to enjoy a nice conversation and take care of some unfinished business. I also found out a decision had been made on a case I’ve had open for over 2 years and I’m waiting patiently for the mail to arrive. I have had 2 epidural shots and it helped with one type of pain and triggered a whole new area, I’m not a happy camper right now. I did a lot of reflecting on a few relationships on dating, friendships and family and realized if I haven’t been invested in it for a while its not even worth letting it occupy space in my head; this will have to be it’s own dedicated blog one week.
So the big news is I have been asked by my church to paint more than a mural but the Narthex of the church and I said yes. We should know if its been approved to move forward soon and I'm super excited. This is when all the highs and lows came into my life, a constant struggle to battle off what has been natural to me for so many years and that is “Self doubt”, that voice that says "I'm not good enough".
After a few weeks of looking at a blank page and reaching out to my friends for help on meditating and surrender, I was finally able to receive the image that I would now draw. I had a meeting with the pastors and members and they loved it, we prayed and now my concept is being reviewed by the trustees.
It doesn’t end there, I was introduced to Alex, the ‘filmmaker’ he makes documentaries and he was more than willing to take some footage of me painting. We started today and as always I’m amazed to see the proof I’m on the right path, this filming looks like it will actually become a full on documentary and we are both excited to see what happens. Today we filmed for about 1 1/2 hrs and we discussed how it all started for me, my struggles and how I ended up in front of this camera in this church today.
I laughed, I cried and I was honest about everything, not once did I think “Oh, this is being filmed let me not say this or let me change that” and that was the best and most freeing feeling ever. It was like I was praying out loud, I mean this is the house of GOD. "I see this journey you have me on and I accept it" "I will be open, honest and willing to take on whatever you see fit". All of today was just amazing, I felt comfortable talking with Alex and he gave me some tips on filming when he’s not around. I am stronger today because of my faith, and I can now see anything is possible for me.
This is all new to me and I’m EXCITED!!!!!!!
I would like to add how grateful I am to the following people: Katie R. (for everything) and because you always keep me involved, Pastor Jeff and Pastor Elyse for having faith in me and always making me feel welcomed, Jorge for being a ball of love and brightness, I look forward to getting to know you better, Pastor Vicki for being the first person that made me feel at home when I walked in and especially to Bishop J for hearing your calling to being my Angel that day on 14th street, you through God saved my life.
I can’t wait to share the progress with all of you, until then
Love & Serenity,