Tomorrow is the big day, I officially start on the church art project that has now been called "The Narthex Project", meaning the point of entry to the main church, the first thing people will see when they enter. I'm still amazed that I have been blessed with this opportunity and ever since it was approved a few days ago, doubt that I'm capable have been popping up more and more. I recognize this is just fear and my defense will be Faith.
I chose this weeks title based on someones statement they made to me, actually what was said is "I feel stronger when your around" and at that moment when it was said my heart was filled with color, it overflowed with love, but at that moment when I heard those words all I wanted to say is thats how I felt when I was around her. Whenever I felt I wasn't good enough, brainstorming with her made me feel I could conquer the world. This relationship had its benefits and downfalls, I guess I now see that I doubted myself a lot in the past and I always depended on her to finish things or make them better for me. But over the last 10 month's I realized I needed some time away from her to start believing in my talent, and I believe I accomplished that. Now that I'm back home I see the opportunities to build this relationship with her and it's shown me how to appreciate some other relationships around me.
Even though at times I felt we completed each other it wasn't that, we inspired each other and when you're inspired you feel like you can accomplish anything. So I just want to say thank you and I love you so much Sis. Inspiring each other has been the core of what I do now, because I was broken and hopeless and I want to share how and why I'm no longer like that. I share everything I do with all of you and I try to let people know how they inspire me. This is still a work in progress for me.
Over the next few weeks I will be in this Narthex space and for me I feel like it's going to be a space where I will be transforming again, I will be documenting everything from my moments of ego to moments of frustration and vulnerability, but more than that I will be experiencing my true faith, that faith that has gotten me this far and has shown me the potential I have. I'm not perfect that's why I added ego, we all have it and for me I need to learn when it exists and how to let it go, so I get to see and experience it all, core honesty with myself and my faith especially with my creative ability.
So "You make me stronger" is my gratitude to everyone around me that will be brainstorming with me, holding my hand, praying with me, recording my journey and giving me words of encouragement. I also want to acknowledge the people who I don't know that enter my life somehow at the right moment, you are the angel I needed to either talk to or help, I want to say you have helped me and I see you.
So I'm ready and willing...Bring it on!
Love and Serenity,