Words matter, your voice matters, how you use it matters and why you use it matters. -Evan Rachel Wood
Probably a fitting title for this weeks blog because I'm having a hard time finding the words to express myself, partially because of the increased hits and feedback of my last blog. I guess it's only natural to feel like I have to top last weeks message, or experience and share something more profound than the previous blog, but in fact I don't. I found myself doing that typical artist perfection thing of planning out every single stroke and the final masterpiece, instead of just trusting that the first paint stroke will lead to a second and third.
My words are the same, and my process has always been structured in a way that allows a spiritual process to guide me. I take a photo, I post how it makes me feel, I eventually have a title for my blog before I write the first words, then I sit and let it pour out. I have a true connection with myself at that moment every week and thats all I need. All I have to do is allow that to happen.
The last week I've had a lot happen, I met some amazing people, I've watched some of the hardest working people accomplish major things with ease, I am reminded that words matter every time I sit with my goddaughter and the family. These are just a few moments that made me think of Evan Rachel Wood and a statement she made an awards show earlier this year, "Words matter, your voice matters, how you use it matters and why you use it matters.".
I truly believe this and know that the words that I share are a reflection of me. Words are powerful, they can lift someone up or they can damage someones confidence, my voice is everything about me, not just my words. From how I treat others to how I make them feel, what I say behind there backs and what I say to their face. I think since I was a child I have never been able to comfortably swear at someone, there were moments I tried to fit in but it felt like vinegar in my mouth and I instantly felt as though a part of me was lost to the dark side.
Then there is my art, social media posts and my blog, all of which for me needs to be consistently honest and because of that it's positive. it's positive because i share the things that make me who I am, the struggles and bumps in the road that delay my journey but make me stronger.
The United States faces this struggle today with saying things about people that make them feel weak or unwanted based on the color of your skin or stereotypes that we have been placed in. So many are in uproar against our current 45 and the administration, republicans and white supremacists, saying these actions are unacceptable and they are. But I see things a bit differently, I think we should rise and fight for our rights but we should be mindful of our own actions 24hrs a day. Ask ourselves are we making anyone else feel beneath us, are they less than because of their financial status or color of their skin. Do we say that someones dream is stupid or make them feel that they will never be good enough. See our words matter whether we say them directly to that person or not, words reflect who we are.
I can't wait for the day that my facebook history will only show me this past 16 months, a time that I spent flooding my mind with positivity, hopes and dreams. Today I'm still reminded of post reshares that I had in the past that focused on how miserable I was, or lonely and unloved i might have been, posts that directed all my unhappiness to it being someone else's fault.
Words are powerful they manifest where you want to go and what surrounds you. If I speak of love and kindness, success and appreciation then I'm surrounded by likeminded folks. If I do the opposite I welcome the same, and why would I want to live my life complaining about what I dont have. I would rather people say they want me to rub off on them then to say I don't want to hear her complain again today.
Your voice matters, even with work. Do you want to be a teacher or an artist, writer or singer, what message are you trying to get across. Why is it important to have your voice heard?
My answer is simple: I used to be depressed and struggled with addiction and just for today Im okay, and I want to share how that is all possible for me. I have so much love to give and I want to share it, I have to share it.
The above picture was barely edited, I woke up on my flight to Thailand and looked out the window and saw this, a blanket of a live blue calming filter that almost blended the wing into the clouds. Let me explain why this was so powerful to me. Before I dozed off for only a few minutes a scene had played on the movie I was watching 'Queen of Katwe' and she was on a plane for the first time and said as she looked out the window "Is this Heaven" and her teacher said "No, but it's close" and then I remembered another scene where her teacher said to her "Sometimes the place you are used to is not the place you belong".
That moment right there was meant for me to experience, It was meant for me to know I will be okay. I'm more connected now then Ive ever been and am confident that my journey is my voice.
As I sit here on the balcony of my room in Thailand I am amazed that my view is of Phuket's Big Buddha that sits atop a massive mountain and that this Bronx girl gets to experience such beauty.
"My creativity is an act of faith, and I must be faithful to that faith, willing to share it to help others, and to be helped in return." - The Artist's Way
Love & Serenity, Jamie