Earlier today I posted this picture and wrote the following.
"Pruning palm trees is no easy task. They need strength, agility, and endurance, a skill that shows in his physique. A ladder only takes him halfway up as he scales the rest ropeless, confident as he balances on two palm leaves. Then you realize the weight of these leaves when they slam down on the ground."
I then interpreted that into a reflection of my life.
"Pruning my life is no easy task. I need willingness, self love, vulnerability, commitment, a skill that shows in my behavior and words. The guidance and support will only take me halfway, I will climb the rest on faith and action, confident as I balance this journey of life and spirituality. I'm stronger, balanced and more self forgiving. Over time I realized the true weight I have been carrying around all my life, when I finally found myself free of them."
So after a full day of tasks and lunch with new friends I found myself debating if I should enjoy a movie or do some writing. I reread todays post and realized I was given the words to describe something more than just pruning palm trees. A reflection of where I'm currently at, maybe emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Slow and steady I've been pruning the defects of myself, learned habits, co-dependant behaviors, lack of worthiness, pity and the list goes on. Today I am nowhere close to perfect and know I'll never be, but it's now easier for me to remove these defects. It's easier for me to flood myself with positive affirmations now because I've experienced its affects on my life.
Why is it so hard for us sometimes to prune or cut away the bad, remove unwanted behaviors or people. Why do we stay in jobs or relationships that don't make us happy, or harm us. Why can't we prune ourselves like that delicate beautiful rose or palm tree that needs this in order to increase fruitfulness and growth.
It wasn't until it was proven to me that cutting away my self doubt, negative self talk and never feeling good enough would increase my self expression, then I was a believer. I write and I'm no longer terrified to do it. There is so much more I want to do and that list of things keeps growing the more I create. I want to explore poetry, spoken word, acting, sculpting metal, painting, drawing, Inventing, I want my voice to matter in every medium I'm led to.
Right now this is one of my voices, I draw. I don't plan what ends up on the paper, I just draw. It tells a story for me, it usually reflects things I crave or have or suffer through, like this drawing. The shape of a large all seeing eye that represents how my higher power has my journey planned and protected, the inner eye is me staring at love, acting in love, the arrow helping me spread that to others. The three bars represent both my mouth and my voice, it also represents the injury to my spine that almost broke me. What I see and do now feeds it and helps it heal.
The lightning surrounding might represent intensity, heartbreak, passion I've had. The small teardrops leading to a bigger one represents all the sadness, hopeless moments, fear based cries all rolled into one big tear drop that I've released. The Optic nerves from my eye is my surrender to see what my higher power needs me to see, and finally the lashes above protect my life from as much bad debris as possible and whatever gets through is a lesson I'm supposed to learn.
My life again this past week has changed, and circumstances have happened that rattled the little bit of stability I thought I had. I had moments in my days that fear entered but it was in my sleep that I was most disturbed. My subconscious released thoughts and feelings about my fears, restlessness that woke me from vivid dreams of anger, resentment and loneliness.
This is what happens. Sometimes we prune our lives purposely and sometimes the universe prunes it for us. So I continue to have faith on my journey and I keep my head where my hands are.
So my Creative affirmation that I have chosen is:
I am willing to be of service through my creativity
and of course my favorite:
As I create and listen, I will be led
So remember that pruning palm trees is no easy task, neither is life, but imagine the fruitfulness and growth you will achieve when you do.
Hope you enjoyed this weeks blog.
Mucho Love, Jamie
gerund or present participle: pruning
trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth.synonyms:cut back, trim, thin, pinch back, clip, shear, top, dock
"I pruned the roses"
cut away (a branch or stem).
"prune back the branches"synonyms:cut off, lop (off), chop off, clip, snip (off), nip off, dock
"prune lateral shoots of wisteria"
reduce the extent of (something) by removing superfluous or unwanted parts.
"reduction achieved by working harder or pruning costs"