When the Path leads you to Sacred Lands; listen with your Soul
Excited and a tinge of fear as I find myself exploring new possibilities in life. A new business, new opportunities, growing relationships, moments of obsessions or self sabotage over the people in my past, and some fear of change. I’m not perfect. As my mind races at more moments during the day or my heart doubles in beat out of the blue, I still find myself oddly grounded and present, a mix of clarity and chaos all mixed up.
The last few weeks have been spent on adjusting to the new time zone which kicked my butt, the act of normal life being in the states but also holding on to the drive and passion of following through on my current business and on this dream, on a business that means something and gives back. I have received so much information on what it really means to run a business, the reality of it actually happening and the collective excitement to make it work. All of this good and uncomfortableness is all happening while feeling intuitively connected with where I am at any given moment, and being able to accept and surrender more freely than ever before.
Last night we arrived in Phoenix, me a fish out of water not knowing what to expect and prepared to fight off the demons that are ready to tell me I’m not good enough, or ready enough, the ones that will surely say you’re a fraud amongst the leaders. I’m ready for you, because I know I am surrounded by many that had the same fears, and our biggest strength was to just show up. I’ve decided it’s just like my recovery, I didn’t know what to do and I sure as hell could never remember a quote out of the big book on the fly, but all I had to do was show up. One day at a time, the intention of ‘being better’ stuck. Over time I learned a quote or two and I never forgot that my main goal was to stay sober and accept myself, flaws and all. I surrendered to another way of living, another way of feeling and the willingness to learn how to connect to people in a healthier way. So this fish out of water at a conscious capitalism conference with over 500 successful business owners will be my playground, I will soak it up, ask questions and take a moment to meditate when things become overwhelming. I will remember I’m here because I have something to offer and it’s all part of my journey.
I woke up this morning rested, an extra beat in my heart and my mind circling around a particular thing that has found its way into the deepest parts of me. I decided to shower and then sit out on the patio and stare at the mountains in the desert. Sounds of calm air, the repetitive sounds of golf carts passing over the broken lines of the road (which sounds like horses galloping) , a small overhead plane passes and I might have heard an eagle this morning. My focus still remains in the distance staring at this mountain, strong, clear and vibrant and I notice the team of mountains faded in the background, just as powerful and strong. It reminds of the strength and support thats needed from the people around me, it spoke to me in a way that forced me to acknowledge the people that take up space in my life today. I sat here grateful for the mountains and my tribe.
My morning didn’t end there, I decided to do a breathing meditation for 15 minutes this morning, I made myself comfortable on the long bench and started this meditation and after 45 seconds I paused it because of slight embarrassment of how I would sound. So I got up and closed the door so I wouldn’t be heard. I continued the deep breathing meditation, still in my head, not clear if I was doing it correctly and then I let go. I start this alternate nostril breathing otherwise know as Nadi Shodhana, a technique that settles the mind, body, and emotions. This meditation was used to create balance between the left and right hemisphere of the brain. Somewhere at the 12-13 minute mark I felt a release of emotions and tears flowed down my face. No longer embarrassed on how I looked or felt I surrendered to this feeling and the last few minutes were spent letting my body naturally breathe and feel. As I opened my eyes I had an immediate “what the F just happened.” moment, I realized it was just clarification that I have something important to release and that I’m in the perfect place to do it.
It’s this place, being on an Indian reservation, surrounded only by a feeling of love and extreme connectedness to the land, I’m reminded of my mural in New York and that moment I was guided to an article about The warriors of the rainbow prophecy, all because I didn’t feel connected to my art. It was that day that I knew my connection was powerful, what was described in this prophecy in detail I had just painted on 4 walls with a whirling rainbow connecting them. As I’m writing this I decided to look up and reread the Prophecy again and did so with a flow of tears, again unsure of what was happening.
I have and continue to decide to just show up and follow the path. The one that leads me to the core of who I am, getting me closer to my purpose.
Please read the following article that I found so powerful:
The roots of our past, our present, our purpose comes in bits and pieces through situations and people we encounter daily, at least they do for me. It’s only when we decide to stop thinking and invite this information into our soul however it may come, do we grow. With that said, I’m now learning how to do the thinking work to build on connections and purpose, and I’ve got a lot to learn. Opportunities have always come my way, I’ve been blessed to experience so much but my mind can sometimes lead me to say I haven’t experienced anything. I can’t remember when this started but I would get this feeling in the pit of my stomach at times while walking, it wasn’t until I got older that it was my intuition or inner navigation that was telling me not to pass something by. The older I got the more skilled I got to connecting and trusting that feeling, if I passed something by and I felt the need to turn back around and say hello to someone or take a picture, maybe even get information, I did. The connection to why I was supposed to stop may or may not be immediate. But I opened myself up to the connection, I acknowledged the path of my sacred land that would lead me on the journey mapped for me. For me I find the most balance between my spirituality and the reality of my life, faith comes with work and action.
Thanks for following me on my journey,
Mucho Love, Jamie