Boy oh Boy has this last year been an awakening to my life. Sometimes I don't believe it and almost never know where to begin when telling my story. My earlier blogs tell you the beginning of this new journey I'm on but guess what, it's still going and still changing.
It's now January of 2017 and I have no New Years Resolution that I want to try and achieve, I don't have a list of people that I want to blame for ruining parts of my life, and no matter what you see in my travel this is not me running away...anymore. See this year is just about letting go and doing the work and trusting in what comes. It's about saying thank you to the bad before letting it go and learning how to not be frightened of the good that continues to present itself to me.
The past 12 months I realized every time I let go my prayers were being answered, my actions were being rewarded, but it wasn't until I read some things in The Artist's Way book that reminded me that I'm naturally trained to oppose success. I shy away from compliments, and stop myself from seeing the series of small miracles happening in my life. In simple terms, I get as close as I can to success and then fuck it up. I understand it's a lot more than this, but this is the reminder I need to give myself today.
I'm very close to having things change enormously in my life if I do the work and stay on track.
Answered prayers are scary. They imply responsibility. You asked for it. Now that you've got it, what are you going to do? - The Artist's Way
Today I was taken to see this tortoise on the beach that was only a 5 minute walk from where we are staying in Bali. It's beautiful and big and the last time I saw one was in the Bronx Zoo when I was a child many moons ago. Today after returning to the villa and not really being completely satisfied with the picture I took, I realized maybe Im supposed to take something else away from seeing this majestic tortoise.
I looked up the symbolism of a tortoise and I got this:
There are many things I can take from this. I'm not searching for fame and fortune but that doesn't mean I'm not also looking for better financial stability and success. But I realize I can't achieve these things without first being grateful for what I have and accepting the small miracles with full gratitude just as I would the large ones. My treasures are the lessons I learn everyday, especially the current one of patience and admitting to not having the answers to fix a relationship I neglected for so many years.
So maybe I'm like the tortoise and have tapped into some sort of rhythmical state of meditation that is leading me to lands filled with treasures. Remembering everyday that I learn how to bring back the treasures I find on my amazing journeys.
As I sit here on my bed watching the amazing view of palm trees and ocean through my sheer curtains here in Bali, Indonesia I am reminded of a life that has always presented me with amazing opportunities.
The reward for paying attention is always healing - The Artist's Way
I will be paying close attention over the next 4 months as I travel on the other side of the world.
And I end this blog with a Thank You for all my answered prayers that have led me here and make a personal commitment that I will not fear responsibility and will welcome possibilities with open arms.
Love and Serenity, Jamie